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Hindu Temple Bereavement Support (Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada) Funeral and Cremation Services How to obtain bereavement
support Important Documents the Family will need Important Tasks Survivor (s) need to do Contact List - Regina Hindu Temple Bereavement Support Group Additionl Information on the Antyesti Samskar Vital Information Form for the deceased required by Funeral Homes We all know that
death is unavoidable. One who takes birth must die. It is the one event that
every one of us will have to face. Yet, when a death occurs in our family we
find ourselves shattered and stressed, overwhelmed by grief and a sense of
irreplaceable personal loss. At this time of utter grief the family is also
required to make many decisions and choices with respect to the funeral and
cremation arrangements, performance of religious rites, and meeting statutory
requirements within the prescribed time frame.
Thus, many of us in the Hindu community feel overwhelmed, confused and
experience much uncertainty because the religio-cultural network-support
available to us in India is not available in this adopted land. Consequently
some Hindu families in Saskatchewan have undergone a great amount of stress and
strain as a result of a death in their family. In the light of these experiences the Hindu Samaj of Southern Saskatchewan in Regina commissioned a task force to examine possibilities for the Hindu Temple to offer support/guidance to the family at the time of bereavement, and to negotiate a Hindu cremation and funeral service package, with local funeral homes. The task group has now completed its explorations, and has prepared this brochure. Funeral and Cremation ServicesArrangements have been negotiated
with two local funeral homes – Regina Funeral Home and Victoria Avenue Funeral
Home – to provide Hindu funeral and/or cremation services. Simplicity and
dignity characterize the negotiated package. The services are simple and
affordable by all. It is also flexible, that is, it can be upgraded or
moderated, should a family so desire. They also allow for the diversity of
practices that prevail in the Hindu communities. Please note that the funeral
homes require a duly completed vital information form appearing at the end of
this brochure. Bereavement support:
In addition to
the above services the Hindu Samaj has also set up bereavement support for Hindu
families: ·
To assist in making
funeral and cremation arrangements by acting as a liaison person between the
family and one of the funeral homes noted above. [The family may also directly
get in touch with one of the two funeral homes and ask for the Hindu Temple’s
standard funeral package.] ·
To assist in arranging
‘Amrit Varsha‘ at the home of the deceased – one hour of evening prayers
and bhajans on the day of death. [Some families prefer visitors come during this
time to express their condolences] ·
To arrange a
continuous recitation of appropriate scripture at the family home, till the day
of cremation. ·
To assist in organizing
a Shanti Path in the Hindu temple. · To assist the family in any other way possible as per request. How to obtain bereavement
support
1.
When a loved one is near death, you may call the temple priest, Pt. Keshav Kalia. The Hindu Antyesti sanskar
(Last Rites) recommend certain rites when death is imminent.
[The rites at the time of cremation can be performed by Pt. Venkat
Machiraju or Mr. Dinesh Kashyap or another person of your choice.] 2.
In case, your loved one has passed away, call any member of the Hindu
Temple bereavement support group for assistance services. The names and phone
numbers of the support group members are listed below. Please
note:
·
Bereavement support
will be provided only when specifically requested. You may call any one of the
persons listed below. ·
Lawful decision-maker
(Survivor) will make needed decisions and choices. The member of the support
group will simply provide information and facilitate the execution of decisions
and choices. ·
Completed Vital
Information Form (below) is required by the funeral home not only for their
services but also for their obtaining necessary death and cremation
certifications. ·
The funeral home
director will assist in completing applications for provincial (including social
services department) and federal assistance if the family qualifies. ·
Lawful decision-maker
or the family needs to look into the important documents and tasks listed below,
when the cremation and Shanti Path are over. Important Documents the
Family will need
The family
should know where these following documents of the deceased are kept: 1.
Last Will and
testament 2.
Identity of
deceased’s attorney and executor (s) 3.
Birth certificate or
proof of birth date 4.
Marriage certificate
or proof of marriage 5.
Citizenship
information/Certificate. 6.
Life Insurance papers,
Bank accounts and account numbers 7.
Stock and Bond
certificates and other investments 8.
Income-tax return for
previous year. 9.
Information on
property, mortgage etc Important Tasks Survivor (s)
need to do:
1.
Access Bank Safety Deposit box, if any, and arrange for a reading of the
Last Will in the presence of appropriate persons. 2.
Filing notification of death and claims for death benefits from Life
insurance, Employer Pension Plan, Canada Pension Plan, Old Age Security,
Guaranteed Income Supplement, Canadian Automobile Association, Professional
Association or Union, etc., depending upon eligibility. 3.
Transfer title, mortgage and the insurance of property as per the Will of
the diseased or to surviving owner. 4.
Change Car registration within 14 working days,
if in the name of the deceased. 5.
Contact Credit Card Companies to cancel the cards issued in the name of
the deceased. 6.
Change the banking arrangement (if in joint name). 7. Income-Tax return to be filled for the deceased by the lawful decision-maker/survivor or executor. Regina Hindu Temple
Bereavement Support Group
1. Mr. Krishan Kapila, Chair - 789-6759 2. Mrs. Rajula Pandya - 522-5290 3. Pt. Keshav Kalia - 501-4410 4. Mr. Dinesh Kashyup - 779-1231 If some one needs assistance, please call Mr. Krishan Kapila
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FREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS - FAQs Are the Funeral and Cremation Services different? In
what way?. Can we choose to have just the Cremation Service? The Cremation service refers to the disposal of the body by placing it in a high intensity fire. It may be preceded by a short ritual and rites that the family of the deceased may wish to do they may do themselves or with the help of another person of their own choice. This may or may not be preceded by a Funeral Service in a different Chapel where the Casket may be partly kept open for viewing the deceased, where their may be one or more eulogies, and where a family member may speak about his/her memories of the departed person. Hymns or music of choice may also be played or sung at this ceremony. If the crematorium is at a different location, then a motorcade may form to transport the body to that location. Some families choose to have both services and some only the cremation service. In the latter case the cost is also less. Can the customary practices of my caste-community, be
carried out in the framework of your negotiated funeral and cremation services? Yes, there is much diversity in the rituals and practices in the Hindu way of bidding farewell to one that has passed away. Our negotiated funeral and cremation services are not one-type-that-fits-all. They cover only the necessary and essential services. If you know what else you wish to do, if you know your customary practices, you can certainly perform them. Can a person of the family’s choosing officiate at
the cremation services? Certainly. Anyone that the family wants to officiate, can do so at the final departure rites. Any set of mantras (hymns or prayers) can be offered. Also, any kind of rituals doable here in our provincial context can be done. Unfortunately not all practices doable back in India can be done here in Canada, or not in the exact same way. Can a lower or higher cost casket be chosen to suit
my family circumstances? What is the cost savings or increment due to such a
choice? Yes, The package we have negotiated is neither the least expensive not is the most. Upgrading the casket may cost you an additional $500 or more. Moderating it may cost $200 less or thereabouts. I am often at a loss as to what I can say to console
the bereaved. Are there do’s and don’ts in consoling the bereaved? Yes most people wonder what to say, what not to say. Some even avoid meeting the bereaved because they feel unsure of what to say. One should certainly express sympathy and condolences. One should be sensitive to the loss and grief the family is experiencing, and refrain from telling them what to wear or how to behave. Time and again our friends or relatives families suffer loss and bereavement. So it is a worthwhile social grace to understand what ‘grief’ is and how we can express our heartfelt sympathy and behave in ways that is consoling. A must read section on this is available on the internet at www.ifishoulddie.co.uk Particularly enlightening are the sections on ‘Helping the Bereaved’, ‘Poems and words of Comfort’, and ‘Understanding and coping with Grief’. Can I make advance arrangements to reduce the burden
on my family of having to make difficult choices at the height of their grief?
And to what extent? Yes one can make advance arrangements with a funeral home and/or leave instructions in a sealed envelop with a member of the family or next of kin on how one’s funeral and cremation should be handled. If written instructions are left, it should be in a separate easy access document other than the Will which may take a few days or weeks to be read. One can also make a ‘Living Will’ that instruct how a serious incapacity such as coma should be handled. These advance arrangements will greatly reduce the burden of difficult choices for the family when they are most vulnerable to suggestions from others. Relevant pamphlets that describe these aspects in greater detail are available from financial institutions as well as funeral homes. Some have pamphlets wherein one can write down how one should be remembered and also have space for short messages to grand-children. What are Hindu practices when a family member is
nearing death? There is no standard prescription for Hindus. Practices vary. Typically, when a person is on the point of death, the nearest kin sits close to the dying person and utters the lords names in his right ear, a few drops of Ganga water (if unavailable, regular water) and a leaf of Tulasi is placed in the person’s mouth. In some parts of India a small piece of gold is also placed along with the Tulasi. What are Hindu practices when a person has died? Here again there is a diversity of practices. Typically, when life is extinct, drops of holy water and Tulasi leaf are placed in the moth (if it hasn’t been done while life is ebbing away), the body is removed from the bed and laid on a mat on the ground, with the head to the north (as if it is looking in the south direction where Yama resides). The next of kin utters 'Narayana' or 'Govinda' or 'Nama Shivaya' or the name of favorite deity of the deceased, three times in the right ear of the deceased. The mouth and eyes are closed. A piece of cloth may also be tied around the jaw and the scalp so the mouth remains closed. The toes are tied together with a piece of string bringing the two legs together. The hands are brought together in a ‘namaskar’ pose and the two thumbs tied together on the chest. The body is covered up to the neck with a white cloth (for males and widows). If the deceased is a female sumangali (married or unmarried), then an orange, yellow or red cloth is used. An oil lamp (with one wick only) and incense sticks (agarbathi) are lit and kept near the head. A photograph of deceased's favourite deity may be placed at the head side. It is common practice to recite or play taped recitation of, the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2 from Sloka 12 to 30, Shivapuraram by Saint Manikavasagar or Narayana Sukta. Alternatively, other soothing and consoling bhajans may also be played or sung. One or two hours before
proceeding for cremation, the body is bathed. The body of a female is washed and
clothed by females only. A new or the favourite clothing of the deceased is used
to cover the body. The procedure is done without commotion and noise. Either vibhuthi
or chandanam is placed on the
forehead. [For married females turmeric powder and kumkumam
are used.] When the body is taken out of the house or while entering the
incineration chamber, it is carried with the legs leading the way. The persons close to the family usually bring in the food for the bereaved family. It is best if a person close to the family co-ordinates this sympathetic gesture. If need be, one of the bereavement support group members will be able to organize this assistance. Why is it said that women cannot carry out the Last
Rites? What if there are no sons or male next of kin or they are far away and
not available at the time of need? The common practice in India was that of having only a male descendent or relative perform the rites. The justification was that it is the male children that inherit the karmas as well as the worldly goods of the deceased. It was also held that women are emotional and at the time of last rites they may become too emotional to carry on. Now this males-only practice has come to be questioned and women have begun to perform these rites too. What if one has a wish to have the cremation done in
India or some other country? We posed this question to the Indian High Commission and here below is the answer we got. Their involvement seems imperative for such a wish to be carried out. The following was the situation as of October 2003. “The following documents are required for sending the deceased’s body to India – (a) Burial [or cremation] permit (b) Two certified copies of death certificate (c) Letter from public Health Officer indicating ‘No Communicable disease’ and outling packing procedure (d) Coroner’s Out of Province Certificate, (e) Name, address and telephone of Consignee, (e) Passport of the deceased, if available. It is very important to have the passport, (f) Letter from Funeral Home indicating travel arrangements (Airline schedule and name, address and telephone of person and/or funeral home that will be receiving the remains), (g) Consulate Fee for attestation of documents and sealing the container. The fee for sealing of container is C$195/- and C$16 for attestation of each document.” If the death occurs when a person is visiting India
or another country, can the cremation be held there or body brought back to
Canada. Yes. A death of a Canadian Citizen has to be reported to the Canadian High Commission in that Country. Any cremation or burial in a foreign country is subject to the local laws and regulations there. Bringing the body back to Canada is also subject to local laws and procedures. The Canadian High Commission’s involvement is necessary, and embalming procedures need to be available locally there. There are Canadian Funeral companies that provide insurance for ‘repatriation of a body’ from foreign locations, subject of course to local conditions there. If the deceased person had (or his next of kin have)
a wish for the ashes to be immersed in a holy river in India, can your support
group assist in fulfilling this wish? This is being looked into. When a relative or friend visiting from abroad dies
here in Canada can that person be cremated here or the body repatriated to
his/her home country? Cremation here in Canada is possible, as long as the associated costs are borne by relatives and friends. Repatriation of the body to one’s home country would be subject to Canadian procedures and the requirements of the country’s Embassy or Consulate. --------------------- Please direct your questions and suggestions to Mr. Krishan Kapila or Mr. Ved Arora This website information will be updated and elaborated as and when additional information becomes available. If you have personal experiences from which we can provide better answers above, or expand this FAQ, please contact one of the above persons. |